


Id, Ego, Superego

by 50251sid



Category: The Borgias, The Borgias (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-20 08:15:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1503335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50251sid/pseuds/50251sid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucrezia is forced to see a psychiatrist to placate her furious parents</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Id

Lucrezia Borgia reluctantly sat down in a chair at the psychiatrist’s office.

“I really don’t want to be here, Doctor. Nothing personal, but...”

“So why _are_ you here, Miss Borgia? Or may I call you Lucrezia?”

“Lucrezia, please. And may I call you Steven? I am here because my parents demand it.”

“How old are you, Lucrezia?”

“Seventeen.”

Ah, still a minor. Why do your parents think you need psychiatric care?”

“They found out that my brother Cesare and I are in love with each other, and they just freaked out. They sent him away to school out of state and they’ve made me see you to ‘convince me of the error of my ways.’”

“I take it you don’t see your affair as an error.”

“Certainly not. It’s the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened in my life. I’ll never give Cesare up.”

“Is your relationship sexual?”

“Boy, you get right to the point, don’t you, Steven? Cesare and I love each other, and, yes, we have sex, like any lovers would.”

“But a brother and sister aren’t just ‘any lovers.’”

“I know. I know it goes against the rules, but to us it’s just natural. We’ve been in love all our lives.”

“Tell me about him.”

Lucrezia’s lovely face lit up.

“Oh, he’s the most amazing man in the world. He’s brilliant and charming and funny and strong and beautiful. He’s everything to me.”

“How old is he?”

“Twenty two.”

“How old were you when you became lovers?”

“Do you really need to know that? What does that have to do with anything?”

“I would like to know so that I can get a better handle on your relationship, based on its longevity, among other factors. Everything you say is confidential.”

“You wouldn’t tell my parents?”

Of course not. And I can’t be compelled to by a court either, if it came to that.”

“Well, okay. I was fifteen when I first had sex with Cesare. But I knew I loved him long before that. He did too. We were both uneasy about being siblings, and we tried to ignore our feelings for each other. But they were too strong. They didn’t go away. I thought that maybe after we made love, that would be the end of it. The fulfillment of our fantasy. But sex only brought us closer. I’m not some little kid crushing on an Older Man.”

“What do you love about Cesare?”

“His strength. His intelligence. His fearlessness. He’s the manliest of men, yet he’s so tender towards me. He treats me like I’m some fragile treasure.”

“And you like that?”

“Yes. He makes me feel safe. His hands are so gentle when he touches me.”

“And the sex?”

She puffed out her cheeks and blew a hard breath.

“What of it?”

“How is it?”

“I…uh…like it. Truthfully, I love it. He’s incredible. Virile. Beautiful. His body is a natural wonder. I’m crazy about him. We fuck like rabbits.”

“Okay. No doubting the passion you feel for him. Let’s talk about when you first realized you were in love with him.”

“I was probably just a toddler. My earliest memories are of Cesare. Of being with him and loving him more than anyone else in the world. More than my parents and my other brother and my grandparents. Everything could just disappear, as long as he was there. He took me everywhere with him. We slept together until I was thirteen and then my mother made us stop. Sometimes I’d sneak into his room anyway. We were always “it” for each other. When I got older, it was just the most natural thing that my romantic feelings should be for him.”

“And his feeling for you?”

“It was a lot easier for me to acknowledge my love for him, than him for me, but he eventually couldn’t deny his feelings for me any longer. Being older, he felt responsible for me, and he feared he would lead me down the wrong path if he gave in to his desires. I am his sister, after all. But I convinced him that no matter what, I could never and would never love anyone else, so we just quit fighting against our inclinations.

“Have you been happy since you became lovers?”

“Stupidly, outrageously happy. Except for having to hide it.”

“What’s that been like?”

“Hard. We were always affectionate, so we were able to continue being reasonably physically demonstrative, but we had to keep ourselves in check for the most part. It was almost a relief when my mother caught us in bed.”

“So you were caught in the act? How long ago?”

“Last month. We were quite occupied and didn’t hear Mom open the bedroom door. She had been suspicious for a little while and ambushed us. It was awful. She got hysterical and ran to get Dad. Cesare barely had time to put his pants on. Dad came into the bedroom swinging, and he and Cesare had a real fistfight.”

“You know, Lucrezia, you almost sound as if you enjoyed the sight of the two of them slugging it out.”

“Maybe I did. I enjoyed seeing Cesare whipping Dad’s ass. Which he did. He was twenty two and in really good shape and Dad was fifty six, so it was a pretty uneven match. Dad learned that night that he could no longer physically intimidate Cesare.”

“Had he been abusive to your brother?”

“At times. Mostly, Cesare took it, even though he probably could have put a stop to it. But he was willing to defend _me_ , fight for _me_.”

Lucrezia gave a voluptuous shiver at the memory.

“Our parents threatened to go to the police if Cesare didn’t agree to leave town and go to a college about five hundred miles away. To spare me an ugly scandal, he complied. I had to agree to get counseling to ‘straighten out my warped mind.’ But I’ll tell you right now, Steven, neither you nor anyone else will change my mind about Cesare. I love him. Period. End of story. I’m just biding my time until I turn eighteen in a few months and then I am going to join him.”

“Do your parents know this?”

“I haven’t told them, but if they don’t know, they’re stupid. And they’re not stupid.”

“Won’t they try to stop you?”

“Probably. But where Cesare is concerned, nothing will hold me back. He’ll come for me and take me away.”

“And then what? What happens after he takes you away?”

“Huh? Well, we’ll be together forever.”

“Where will you live? What will you eat? How will you pay the utilities? Who will do the cooking?”

“I don’t know.”

“You seem to have this dream of a strong, handsome knight carrying you off, but is that realistic? That’s not the way the world works.”

“Cesare will take care of me.”

“And what will you do for Cesare?”

“Love him.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’ll…I’ll love him. Be with him. Make him happy.”

“How? What will you do?”

“Whatever he wants. I’ll make him happy.”

“Specifically, what will you do?”

Lucrezia began to cry.

“You’re trying to confuse me. How dare you? Cesare and I will be happy like we always were. You’re a terrible man. I’m leaving.”

She got up.

“Miss Borgia. Lucrezia. You may be living in a dream world. I’m only trying to get you to see reality.”

“I don’t want your reality. I have my own.”

“Please come back and talk some more with me. There are so many questions which need answering. Come back tomorrow at this same time. Please.”

“I don’t want to. You’re a mean man. You’re trying to make me doubt Cesare. It won’t work.”

“Then you have nothing to fear from talking further with me, do you? Maybe by talking you can even strengthen your commitment to Cesare.”

“Well…all right. But you have to stop talking to me like you have.”

“I promise to bring up my questions differently. Will that be acceptable to you?”

“I guess. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

 

Instead of a five feet tall, delicate looking blonde young woman, entering Steven’s office the next day was a six feet two inch, dark haired man with astonishing hazel eyes and a scruffy beard growth that rendered him rakishly handsome. His scowl caused him to be intimidating.

He stalked in, sat down without extending his hand in greeting and stretched out his long legs in front of him.

“Steven. I’m Cesare Borgia. My sister called me yesterday, crying and telling me you were trying to make her doubt our relationship. Want to tell me why you would do that?”

“Mr. Borgia. Look. I’m bound by professional ethics here. I can’t even confirm that a sister of yours was here to see me. If you like, I can discuss some of my methodology with you and explain what I try to accomplish with my patients, but…”

“Steven, I’ll save you the trouble, because I’m tired. I drove all night to get here because I don’t like it when people upset Lucrezia. She’s stuck with having to continue to see you for a short while until she turns eighteen. Then she’s coming with me. And, as she told you, I will take care of her. She doesn’t have to do a goddam thing but just come with me. I don’t want to hear any more of this “realistic” shit you were talking to her, trying to convince her that things won’t work out for us. They’ll work out because I’ll see to it. Like I always have. Lucrezia is my baby.”

“Mr. Borgia, may I ask you something? Do you have any idea what you’re taking on? Do you have any specific plans for your future and that of your sister?”

“Do I strike you as a fool, Steven? An impractical fool? My sister can live in a dream because I take care of things. She’s an innocent. An angel. I will do whatever it takes to preserve that. Whatever it takes, hear me? She’s mine. You leave her alone. Stop upsetting her. Do we have an understanding?”

“I can tell you that all I ever want is what is best for my patients. If their best interests are served by an unorthodox romantic relationship, I will naturally support that. But I have to determine that to my own satisfaction or I’m not doing my job.”

“Then know this: if my sister calls me upset over something you said to her, you and I will meet again. And it won’t be nearly so friendly. These meetings with you are just to get our parents off her back until she reaches her majority and we can tell them to go to hell. You aren’t going to accomplish a damn thing with her. So do everyone a favor and just send my dad your bills and let Lucrezia skip these meaningless sessions. Everybody’s happy.”

“I don’t like threats, Mr. Borgia. Especially when someone is trying to dissuade me from caring for my patients.”

“I’m making promises, Steven, not threats. Leave my baby alone. Stop trying to undermine her faith in me. You say you want what’s best for her. I _know_ what’s best for her, and I’ll see that she gets it. Nice meeting you, Steven. Hope I don’t see you again. Nothing personal.”

That quickly, he was gone.

Steven leaned back in his chair and let out a long breath.

_What the hell was that?_


	2. Ego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein more is learned about the characters of the dramatis personae

When Stephen phoned Lucrezia’s mother and asked to schedule a family session, he told himself that he wanted to get a feel for the Borgia’s dynamics. He was not responding to Cesare’s menacing visit by capitulating to take the glare off of Lucrezia. He was _not_ being intimidated.   Although he knew that the young man was not bluffing. A rattlesnake shook its tail to give a warning, but it was perfectly prepared to back it up with a deadly bite.

 

Ethics prevented him from discussing specifics with his colleagues, but in general terms he asked another psychiatrist with whom he was well acquainted if she had ever felt “worried” by a patient or patient’s family member.

“I took care of a woman who was in an abusive marriage. The husband came after me when his wife left him, blaming me rather than his own behavior. He actually tried to shoot me. I was fortunate that he wasn’t a particularly good shot, and he is now in prison. I attend every parole hearing that comes up for him, and he is denied release each time, but each time I see he gets madder and madder. I just pray that he remains in jail. In our profession, we get some situations that can only be described as dangerous.”

“I have a patient who is a lovely young woman, but she has a male relative who is very controlling of her. I really believe she needs to develop a stronger sense of herself and stop depending on him, but he’s not about to let go. He came to see me and actually threatened me if I didn’t back off. I’m not sure what I should do about it.”

“Does he strike you as just blowing smoke?”

“No, I think he’s willing to act. He seems like a young man who is used to getting what he wants by any means.”

“Steven, you have a wife. Kids. They need you. If this seems like a dicey situation, you should probably get out of it. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way.”

“I don’t like the idea of being intimidated by some punk kid. I’m a professional. I’m good at what I do. This young woman is my patient, and I have a responsibility to her. I’ve just got to find a way to deal with things.”

“The very fact that you thought to discuss this issue with me makes me think that there is something more sinister about it than you may be letting on. This young man seems to have really unsettled you. You aren’t a coward, nor the type to ‘cry wolf.’ Listen to your instincts, Steven.”

“Cara, you’re a good friend, and I appreciate your concern. I promise you that I won’t take any chances.”

“I’ll hold you to that promise. Remember my experience. I’m only still here because someone was a poor marksman.”

“A sobering thought. I’ll be cautious.”

 

When Stephen had spoken with Lucrezia’s mother about a family session, he had had a bit of a task to persuade her to agree.

“I don’t see the need for this, Doctor Reynolds. After all, it’s Lucrezia who has the problem.”

“I find it helpful to observe the relationships among the families of my patients.”

“Are you suggesting that Lucrezia’s family is responsible for her behavior?”

“I am just saying that I would like to see how she interacts with those closest to her. It may give me some helpful insights.”

“Well, do you have a back entrance? I don’t want to have my family observed entering the office of a ... Or would it be possible for you to come to our home perhaps? Unobtrusively. We have, after all, a reputation to maintain.”

“I suppose I could come to you. Perhaps everyone will be a bit more comfortable in familiar surroundings. If you would kindly ensure that everyone will be there…”

“Not everyone, certainly. Not… _him_.”

“But, Mrs. Borgia, don’t you agree that he’s a major figure in your daughter’s life?”

“One we are trying to eliminate, Doctor Reynolds. He will not be there. It’s difficult enough that the rest of us will have to be involved in this sordid business.”

 

Rodrigo and Vannozza and their children Juan and Lucrezia were gathered in the family room of their rambling home when Steven arrived. A maid escorted him in and served nonalcoholic drinks, then quietly departed, closing the door behind her.

“Good evening, everyone,” he began. “Thank you all for being here. I wanted to meet with you and get to know you a bit better.”

Rodrigo shifted in his chair.

“I hope you understand. Doctor, that this is new to all of us. We aren’t the kind of people who typically turn to outsiders to solve our difficulties.”

“May I ask then, why you did this time?”

“Well, we simply had no frame of reference to deal with this…situation. It was beyond our experience. My wife thought it best to seek your help.”

“Well, Rodrigo, you agreed with me. I wouldn’t have gone ahead if you hadn’t.”

“Mom, Dad, I told you from the beginning I didn’t need a psychiatrist. If you had just let me alone, none of this would be happening.”

“Don’t talk to us like that, Young Lady, after what you did. You’re lucky not to be in reform school. Your mother and I were shocked. Horrified.”

“Why am I here? I didn’t do anything. Why do I have to be dragged into this mess?”

“Doctor Reynolds asked that all of us be here, Juan.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t see the major offender here. Why is he off the hook?”

“I wouldn’t have him here, Juan. After what he did to your sister…”

“Mom, unless he held a gun to Lucrezia’s head, which she has assured us he didn’t, I don’t think it was a matter of what he did _to_ her, but what he did _with_ her.”

Rodrigo started to get out of his chair, but Steven stood up first.

“Whoa, let’s just calm down here a bit. Things are getting out of hand. We’re not here to place blame. We’re here to gain understanding.”

 

Two hours later, Steven was grateful to depart. What a family! Everyone fixated upon blaming everyone else and no one willing to focus on the real issues.

Father: claims to be a businessman, but vague about details (criminal?); however, business must be good. Air of affluence all around. Obviously annoyed to have been dragged in to deal with family issues, which should be his wife’s concern. Aloof.

Mother: humiliated at having to call in outside counseling. Social climber, afraid of losing status and incurring scandal. Concerned for children, but distant.

Brother Juan: Hothead, air of entitlement. Gleeful that for once it’s elder brother who is seen as the screwup. Seems angry that sister chose other brother over himself.

Brother Cesare: Controlling, willing to do anything to achieve aims. Possibly (probably?) dangerous. Passionate about sister, but determined to keep her childlike and dependent.

Lucrezia: Achingly sad, pining for Cesare, heartbreakingly bewildered by maelstrom of destructive forces around her.

 

“Cesare came to see you, didn’t he, Steven?”

“Did he tell you that?”

“Yes, he did. I told you he takes care of me.”

“I don’t doubt his affection for you, Lucrezia. Or yours for him. I am just concerned that you may be giving him too much control over your life. I wonder if you are able to make any decisions for yourself.”

“Cesare said that the only decision I would ever need to make was to give myself to him. He would take care of everything after that. And he has.”

“How about before you were lovers? When you were growing up, did you feel that others were in charge?”

“Well, I obeyed my parents. Is that what you mean?”

“How about things like choosing your clothes, or your hair style? Or the books you read?”

“I wore uniforms to school. I still do. Mom picked out my other clothes. She said I have no fashion sense. She didn’t like that I have straight hair, so she used to take me to get permanents. I hated that. I didn’t want to leave the house with those awful curls.”

“Did your mother know how you felt?”

“I told her all the time. But she kept taking me. One day Cesare shaved my head for me, and cut off all the curls. I was so happy. Mom was furious, but she quit making me get permanents after that.”

“So he was your ally growing up?”

“I guess you could say that. He knew me better than anyone, and he always was there for me. When someone tried to pick on me or bully me, he put a stop to it. Sometimes we would cut school together and go to a baseball game or the museum or whatever and he would write me excuses. Like I cut school the day Cesare came to see you. He had driven all the way here just for me, and of course I had to see him. He got a few hours’ sleep in a motel room while I just kept quiet, and then we…well, you can guess. We had missed each other so much!”

“How long had it been since he went away?”

“Just weeks and weeks. It felt like forever. He promised to come and see me on weekends when he can. I just can’t get by without him.”

“That’s a concern of mine, Lucrezia. When we love someone, we depend on them to a certain extent, but I wonder if you aren’t overly dependent on Cesare. Please don’t get upset. I just want to understand the nature of your relationship with him.”

“I love him. I need him.”

“Understood. But think about this. Relationships are usually about mutual benefit. What do you feel you do for Cesare?”

“Um…I love him. He says I give him exactly what he needs.”

“Which is what?”

“Um…”

“He does an awful lot for you, doesn’t he? Do you feel that you do a lot for him too?”

“I think I see what you’re getting at. Cesare is very strong. He likes that I need him to take care of me.”

“Does he expect you to obey him?”

“Obey? Obey Cesare? I never thought of it that way. I just know that when I listen to him and do what he tells me, things work out best for me, and I’m happy. Shouldn’t I be?”

“It’s not my place to tell you what should make you happy. If you have chosen to turn your life over to Cesare and you’re comfortable with that, that’s fine with me. I just want to make sure that you don’t feel that you need Cesare to tell you what to do because you aren’t qualified or smart enough or strong enough to manage for yourself, if you wanted to.”

“Oh. Now I understand what you mean. But I’ve never felt like I should be in charge. From the time I was a baby, someone has always told me what to do. My mom used to tell me that I don’t know what I want. Like, when she would put me to bed and I’d say I’m not sleepy, she would say that even though I didn’t think I was sleepy, I really was. But Steven, if **_I_** don’t know what I feel, or what I want, then who does?”

“Lucrezia, that’s exactly what I hoped you would ask yourself.”


	3. Superego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein fears are faced

“You know, Steven, I didn’t tell you this, but…well, I’m not supposed to have any contact with Cesare, but he gave me a cell phone that my parents don’t know about. We talk every day. My mom searches my room all the time and goes through my things. And my mail. I gave up keeping a diary. I have to hide my phone in new places all the time.”

_A young woman on the verge of legal age who is still subject to invasive, suffocating parental surveillance. No wonder she’s never been able to think for herself._

 

“Steven, do you think it’s a good idea for me to go away with Cesare?”

“Lucrezia, we’ve been meeting twice a week for six weeks now. Surely you know that my answer to you will be ‘What do _you_ think?’”

“I really want to be with him, but if I go with him, I’ll have to give up everything else. My friends. My home town. The rest of my family. Even though Juan is a stupid shit, I really do love him.”

“That’s a lot to give up.”

“I think Cesare is worth it. He will give me a whole new life.”

“Well, then, you have your answer.”

“I guess so. But…”

“But?”

“Well, I have some really good friends here. That I’m close to. And I like living where I’m familiar with everything. If I move away, all I’ll have is Cesare. I’ll be even more dependent on him.”

_A tiny explosion of victory went off in Steven’s head, but he maintained a neutral countenance._

“Sounds like you have some real issues to weigh in your mind. It’s a big decision you have to make. Here’s a question: say you went away with Cesare and then changed your mind. Do you feel you could come back? Would your parents allow you back with them?”

“I don’t think so. They were horrified when they found out that I was sleeping with Cesare. Remember, they were going to go to the police unless he left town.”

“Let’s talk about that for a minute. I get the impression that your parents, especially your mother, are very concerned about keeping up appearances. Wouldn’t going to the police have been making public a situation they wanted to conceal?”

Lucrezia fell silent.

“Huh! You know, you’re right. I should have called their bluff.”

“I’m not saying you should have done that. I’m just suggesting that there may be other options than the ‘all or nothing’ you seem to feel you’ve been handed. Might it not be just possible for Cesare to come home after all?”

“And still be with me? Like maybe if we kept it quiet and discreet? Because we _have_ to be together.”

“It’s something to think about. Maybe even talk to Cesare about.”

 

“Steven, Cesare got really mad at me. We kind of argued.”

“Argued? Really?”

“He doesn’t want to come back home. He wants to take me away. I told him I wasn’t sure about that.”

Steven shifted in his chair.

“What…what did he say to that?”

“He asked me who had been putting ideas in my head. I told him nobody was. I just thought of it myself. That I really didn’t want to give up my friends and familiar surroundings.”

“Do you think he believed you?” _Coward!_

“He did. But he was still insistent that I leave with him. He wants to…um….to…”

“What, Lucrezia? What does he want?”

“To get me pregnant. So we’ll be bound together forever.”

_Oh, Jesus Christ! That rattlesnake!_

“Do you want to have a baby?”

“Someday. But not now. I’d like to go to college. Prepare for a career.”

“That is a wonderful goal. Does Cesare not support it for you?”

“No. He says I don’t need a career. He will take care of me.”

“How does he propose to do that?”

“He has…connections. He’s networking where he is right now. Setting up shop, I guess you could say. Following in Dad’s footsteps.”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

“I get the impression that my father isn’t actually in the import-export business. I honestly think he is some kind of crook.”

_Lucrezia, you really are growing up._

“How do you feel about that idea? That your dad might be dishonest?”

“Terrible. Disillusioned. But not really surprised. It helps a lot of things make sense, in retrospect. I guess Dad is doing what he thinks is best for his family.”

“Seeing one’s parents as human beings is a significant step toward maturity, Lucrezia.”

 

“Cesare always calls me ‘Baby’. I really used to like it, Steven, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe it expresses his true feelings for me. Like he wants to keep me from growing up.”

“Do you think that’s what he wants?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.”

 

When Lucrezia came for her next appointment, she surprised Steven by bringing Cesare with her. They entered holding hands and sat down close to each other on the sofa in the office. His arm slid around her shoulders.

“I hope you don’t mind, Steven. I really thought it was good when you met the rest of my family. So I wanted you and Cesare to have a chance to talk also.”

“But we’ve already met, haven’t we, Steven?”

Cesare’s tone was sarcastic, snotty.

“Yes, we have, Cesare.”

_You won’t intimidate me, you bullying son of a bitch._

“Cesare, Steven has been a good friend to me. Please be polite to him.”

“Of course, my Baby. Your friends are my friends.”

“Steven, Cesare feels that I have changed in some ways and isn’t happy about it. So I thought we should talk about that.”

“Okay. How about you tell me what changes you’ve noticed in Lucrezia?”

_A derisive, snorting laugh. A cocky lift of the chin. Raised eyebrows. He is some piece of work._

“Look. I agreed to come with Lucrezia today to make her happy. But I really don’t have anything to say beyond what I said to you already.”

“Cesare, can’t you just tell Steven what you told me? About how you don’t like that I seem to be changing my mind about our plans. We need to talk about this. I’ve learned that it really helps to talk.”

Cesare turned the full power of his remarkable hazel eyes onto Lucrezia and raised her chin with his forefinger.

“You know I’m a man of action, not words. This psychiatrist thing is just to shut our parents up until you’re eighteen and we can do what we want. It’s just you and me, Baby. We don’t need anyone else.”

“But, Cesare, I do need other things. My friends. The rest of my family. The familiarity of my hometown.”

“I’ll give you new friends. You’ll get used to a new home. I’ll give you a family of your own. A baby of your own. I’ll make you happy. I promise.”

“But I don’t think I’m ready for a baby. I want to go to college, Cesare. Have a career.”

“Don’t you think I can take care of you? Haven’t I always? Are you losing faith in me?”

“Of course not, Cesare. But I have some ideas of my own, too. I’d like to be able to do things for you too. I don’t want to feel that all I do is take from you.”

“Why would you think that? You know it makes me happy to take care of you. You’re my baby.”

“Why do you call me a baby? I’m not a baby.”

“You’ll always be my baby.”

Cesare’s voice became soft and caressing. He stroked Lucrezia’s blonde hair.

“My beautiful baby. It’s been so hard on me, being away from you. All I’ve thought about is us being back together, happy like we used to be. Just you and me. That’s what’s kept me going. Making plans for us. For you. Everything I do is for you. You know that, don’t you?”

Lucrezia’s lips began to quiver. Cesare continued, his voice coaxing.

“Don’t you love me anymore, Baby? Have you gotten so grown up that you no longer want or need your Cesare? Have you outgrown me? Will you throw me away now?”

“Cesare…don’t say that…I love you. I’ll always love you. I just think…”

“What, Baby? Why do you need to think? When you think, you doubt. Weren’t we happy? Didn’t I make you happy? Don’t you want to be happy with me again?”

_Rattlesnake!_

Steven cleared his throat.

“I just have to interrupt here. Cesare, you seem to think that if Lucrezia has any ideas or needs beyond what you want for her that she doesn’t love you. That she is being disloyal. Do you not believe that your love for each other is strong enough to allow for both of you to have ideas and needs?”

“I know Lucrezia, Steven. Better than she knows herself. I know what’s best for her.”

Lucrezia jumped, as if startled out of a dream.

“Wait, Cesare. You and Mom and Dad and everyone always told me that. And I believed you. But then it occurred to me: if I don’t know myself, then who else could? How can you know me better than I know myself?”

“Baby, I…”

“If you insist on calling me ‘Baby’, fine. As long as you recognize that I’m not a baby anymore. I’m grown up. I want to decide some things for myself. I want to go to college. I can do that and still be with you. I want to study paleontology.”

“What?”

“Paleontology. Dinosaur bones.”

“What the hell for?”

“Because I’m interested in them. Can’t I be interested in dinosaur bones and still love you?”

_Steven silently cheered. “You go, girl!”_

“I never knew you had that interest.”

“You never knew a lot of things about me. But I do have interests. I am an interesting person. You might like me with a new set of interests.”

“Baby…Lucrezia…what’s gotten into you? You’re confusing me. I like you…I love you…just as you are.”

“No, Cesare. Just as you _think_ I am. You don’t even know the real me. I’m smart. I have opinions. I care about things. Cesare, I love you. I need you. But I need you to look at me. Really see me.”

“I’m losing you. You come here and you listen to him and suddenly you’re a different person.”

Cesare turned full on to Steven.

“Are you putting the moves on her? Are you trying to take her away from me so you can have her for yourself?”

“Cesare, don’t be crazy. Steven has been my friend. He has helped me understand things. He has helped me see that I don’t have to depend on you to live my life. I can love you like an equal. We can have a healthier relationship now.”

Cesare visibly deflated.

“You don’t love me anymore. You’ll leave me. You’ll get into college and be around men with the same interests as you and I’ll seem boring to you.”

“Cesare, no. I love you. I’ll always love you. You could never be boring. Ever. I was always afraid of boring you. I felt dumb. Uninteresting.”

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I’d die without you.”

“I’m here, my darling. I’ll never, never leave you.”

Cesare caught Lucrezia’s face between his two hands and kissed her ardently. Her arms went around him and she closed her eyes.

Out of the corner of his eye, Cesare shot Steven a look of triumph.


	4. Conscious And Unconscious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein our tale comes to a conclusion

“Baby, how about you go into the outer office and let us talk for a few minutes? Man to man.”

“Sure. But remember, we’re all friends here.”

“Of course, Baby.”

When Lucrezia had gone out, Cesare turned to Steven.

“I thought I made it plain what I expected of you. Where do you get off stirring up my sister’s mind with these half-assed ideas?”

“Cesare, Lucrezia has the right to choose her own life. And choose the way she lives it. She’s an intelligent young woman. She’s capable of taking care of herself. Don’t you see that it’s better for both of you that she remains with you out of love and not because she’s overly dependent on you?”

“Look, Steven. Until a few months ago, I was in the catbird seat. I was about to step into the Old Man’s shoes, so to speak. My father has a highly profitable business which I was about to help him run. A perfect fit for me. I’d been grooming for it all my life. But the thing with Lucrezia…well, that threw a monkey wrench in the works. So I lost everything but her. I’ve had to rebuild my life. And I’ve done it. For her. To keep her happy. To give her the life to which she is accustomed. She is used to designer clothes and expensive sports cars. I can give her those things myself now. I’ll give her a big, beautiful house. Servants. Jewelry. I keep her happy in bed. I know she’s told you that. Everything I do is because of her. And I am not about to lose her.”

“I don’t for a minute doubt your love for Lucrezia. Or hers for you. But I don’t understand why you equate love with total dependence on you. Why does Lucrezia have to surrender completely to you?”

“I’m a man of my upbringing, Steven. That’s how we operate. That’s how my mother is. My grandmothers. Men and women have their places.”

“What do you think would happen if Lucrezia were to become more independent?”

“Nothing good, I can tell you. She’d only get herself into trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?”

“I don’t know. Like this paleontology notion. What the fuck is that?”

“What’s wrong with her having an interest in science? She seems proud of that.”

“She’s a woman. She doesn’t need that shit.”

“What do you think she needs?”

“Me.”

“Nothing else?”

“What else would there be? I can give her everything she wants and needs.”

“She mentioned needing her friends. Her parents. Even her brother Juan.”

“That dickhead? That just shows you how messed up her mind is.”

“Why is it wrong for her to love her brother Juan?”

“He’s a complete fuckup. A waste.”

“He seems to care about her, though. Maybe her experience with him has been gratifying.”

“She’s too naïve to see through him, then, for what he really is. She needs me to decide what’s best for her. She’s just not good at reality. See what I mean?”

“I see that you have a poor opinion of your brother. But why does that have to be Lucrezia’s opinion too?”

“Because I’m right. And she’s mistaken. She needs me to protect her from herself.”

“What does she do for you, Cesare?”

“She doesn’t have to do anything for me. Just be there for me.”

“Does she have no value, then, except as an accessory to you? Like your car or your wardrobe or your wrist watch?”

“Steven, you’re starting to piss me off. I told you. She’s everything to me. I really would die without her.”

“I’ve always believed that when you love someone, you put their needs ahead of your own. Lucrezia certainly does that for you. But what I get from you is a very strong sense of your own self-interest. You want to keep Lucrezia dependent and childlike so that she won’t leave you. But why would she? What is so inadequate in you that she would desert you if she only knew?”

Cesare stood up so suddenly that Steven jerked backward in his chair.

“Listen, motherfucker! I’ve had enough of you and enough of your messing with my sister’s head. This is your last warning. She cares for you and I don’t want to harm that which she loves, but you’re going too far.”

Steven stood to meet Cesare’s challenge.

“I told you that I don’t like threats. Do I have to go to the police?”

“Don’t you know who I am? Who my father is? Do you think I’m afraid of the police?”

“I think you are, Cesare. I know that fear of the police cowed you into moving away from Lucrezia, even though common sense should have told you that the last thing your social climbing mother would do was go public with her children’s incest…”

Cesare’s fist connected with Steven’s jaw and knocked him to the floor.

“That’s it. We’re done. I tried to be nice. I tried to warn you. It’s all on you now, Bro.”

 

Steven saw Lucrezia two more times. On the second visit, she happily announced that she was turning eighteen in three days’ time. After that, someone called and cancelled all her appointments. Steven’s office manager said that it had been a man’s voice. He was unable to reach Lucrezia either at her home or on her mobile phone.

 

After three months went by, Steven’s sense of unease began to diminish a bit.

 

It was just starting to get dark when he was unlocking his car after a particularly grueling day. He had taken on a new patient who suffered severely from bipolar disorder and demanded all his expertise. Thoughts of how to best help his patient distracted him, and he did not perceive that he was being followed until the tall, sparely-built man was right behind him. Although Steven had never felt one, he knew that the object being poked into his back was a gun barrel.

“Look, I won’t fight you. Just take my wallet and my wrist watch. There’s no need to hurt anyone.”

“I’m not after your money, my friend. I need you to come with me.”

The armed stranger guided Steven to a nondescript four-door sedan and opened the rear door, indicating he should get in.

As he entered the car, he was horrified to see a grinning Cesare Borgia sitting in the back seat.

“Steven! We’re going for a little ride.”

 

Cesare and Lucrezia entered the hospital elevator.

“Cesare, how long ago did this happen?”

“Two days. Juan saw it in the paper and called me.”

“It’s terrible. Such a wonderful man.”

“Are you sure you want to see him, Baby? I don’t imagine it’s a pretty sight.”

“He’s my friend, Cesare. I must see him.”

“I’m told he’s out of it. He probably won’t recognize you.”

“But I’ll know him. He means a lot to me, Cesare. Please understand that.”

“Oh, I do, Baby. I do.”

“His poor wife. What will she do now? They have three little kids.”

“When I heard about the accident, I did some checking around. To see if there was anything I could do. I found out he has a two million dollar insurance policy with his wife as the beneficiary, in addition to his medical insurance. So his family will at least be provided for.”

Tears filled Lucrezia’s eyes.

“You looked into helping his family? Cesare, how lovely of you!”

“Well, like I said, I know how much he means to you. At least you can ease your mind about his family’s welfare.”

The two million dollar policy had been taken out two months prior by a previously-unknown Austrian psychiatric professional association which had paid the premium by a wire transfer. Steven’s wife had been unaware of the policy until she received the certificate of insurance in the mail yesterday.

“I’m acquainted with the doctor who’s taking care of him. She told me that his internal organs are starting to fail, so it’s just a matter of time. Probably it’s a mercy. If he survived, he’d be a quadriplegic. He’s on a ventilator, he has a feeding tube…it’s horrible. Poor guy. They’ve moved him out of the ICU into a private room where it’s quiet and dark. Give him that little bit of comfort, I guess.”

“What happened?”

“For some reason, his car went off the road and over an embankment. Whether he lost control or fell asleep at the wheel, or whatever, nobody is sure. But he was hellishly injured. Apparently, someone saw it and called 9-1-1 on one of those cell phones like you get at the convenience stores. Otherwise, he might never have been found. The caller couldn’t be traced.”

“It’s a shame. Whoever it was did a kind thing. They should be thanked.”

“Maybe they will get their reward in heaven.”

“Here’s his room. Cesare, I’m scared.”

“You don’t have to go in if you don’t want to.”

“No, I have to.”

They entered quietly and spoke in whispers to the nurse who sat at his bedside, monitoring the machines that were keeping Steven alive for now.

“His wife just went down to the cafeteria at my urging to get a bite to eat. Poor thing. She hasn’t left his side until now.”

“How is he?” Lucrezia’s voice trembled.

The nurse shook her head.

Lucrezia moved closer to the bed.

“Steven?” She kissed his forehead, then began to weep.

Steven’s eyes flickered and then opened above the cluster of tubes that covered most of his face. He seemed to be confused for a moment, and then his eyes appeared to widen in pure terror when Cesare stepped up to stand behind Lucrezia. His head tossed back and forth.

“Cesare, what’s happening? He looks scared.”

“He’s out of it, Baby. Really. Those are just reflexes you’re seeing.”

Towering over her, Cesare embraced Lucrezia from behind, enveloping her tiny body with his. He bent and pressed his lips to her neck and rubbed his hand over her belly.

“I wish I hadn’t let you talk me into bringing you here, Baby. The long drive was tough enough on you. You shouldn’t be getting upset in your condition. I’m taking you back to the hotel right now.”

“But, Cesare, there’s a tear running from his eye.”

“Well, let’s leave and let the nurse take care of him. We’ll go back to the hotel and you can have a bubble bath and then I’ll put a smile on your face. Make you forget all this sadness.”

Lucrezia touched Steven’s motionless hand.

“You’re my friend, the best kind of friend. I love you, Steven.”

“I thought you loved _me_.”

“I do, Cesare. Most of all.”

“There’s my Baby!”


End file.
